-everything anything-

shinidamachu:

I reread the post you’re talking about and it seems that we ran into a little bit of a misunderstanding where I either sounded more critical to Kagome than I originally intended or you took my words the wrong way, which is totally understandable because as you know, english isn’t my first language. Be that as it may, thank you for the opportunity to try and clear everything up.

I never described Kagome’s desire for emotions to be stated explicitly as “naive” and “shallow,” I said Kagome’s take on love was. I also said it makes sense for the character she was at the beginning:

Kagome’s take on it was naive, immature and superficial. On the other hand, Inuyasha’s was more cynical, fatalist and experienced (or so he thought). And this makes perfect sense for the people they were back then, for the life they’ve lead that far.

And I stand by it. Kagome is a fifteen years old modern girl, it’s only natural that she’s not yet equipped to understand such a complex feeling, one that she has never experienced before. Especially considering her background and enviroment she was inserted into.

Kagome being wrong and having her worldview changed is not a bad thing, it’s just part of her coming of age. It’s what makes so interesting to go on this journey with her and see how much she changed and grew from the things she learned.

The point I actually tried to make about her desire for emotions to be stated explicitly was that, first of all, it’s a completely valid feeling:

My point is that Kagome is a modern 15 years old girl who wanted to be swept off her feet by the boy she loves and when he didn’t live up to her expectations, she started doubting his feelings. Which is completely normal and continues to happen until she learns to read his little gestures for what they are: his way of professing his love.

And that there were outside factors, other than the ones mentioned above, that contributed to blow that need out of proportion, such as Takahashi not letting Inuyasha be as reassuring to her as he was at the start:

They reach common ground with quality time and physical touch, but it doesn’t mean that this completely erases Kagome’s need for verbal reassurance. Especially when Kikyo came into picture, because her past with Inuyasha made Kagome feel extremely insecure and confused. Plus, Inuyasha used to reassure her of his feelings way more at the beginning, then it was toned down.

Or the constant far from kind comments of her friends concerning their love life and how other “suitors” would behave closer to what she was taught to expect from a love partner:

To top it all off, Miroku’s, Sango’s and particularly Shippo’s (beyond less important characters) remarks on Inuyasha’s love life didn’t exactly help her self steem, either. At the same time, you have Hojo constantly asking her out and Koga professing his undying love for her on the regular. It’s only logical for her to compare their behavior, even if in a subconscious level.

So Kagome is obviously justified in wanting verbal reassurance and Inuyasha raised up to the occasion at times. That’s not the problem. What I call “naive”, “shallow” and “immature” is the hollywoodian notion of love, the Valentine’s Day notion of love. Simply put:

It’s not about who gives you fancy “get well soon” baskets. Anyone can do that.

It’s about who stays with you through it all.

It’s not about who offers you flowers. Anyone can bring you shiny things.

It’s about who knows what’s truly meaningful and important to you.

Also, I never mentioned that she was wrong and immature due to being unable to discern the meaning of Inuyasha’s silent declarations through acts of service.

What I said was that she comprehensibly had a blind spot when Kikyo is in the picture, to the point of not being able to see Inuyasha’s acts of love for what they were:

But most of all, because of the above, Kagome is completely biased and unreliable when it comes to Kikyo. There are many occasions where she doesn’t let her jealousy get the best of her, choosing to do the right thing in the end even if she struggles with it at first, but she does let it cloud her judgement. So much that everything Inuyasha does to show her he loves her (and it’s a lot) fly right over her head.

I absolutely agree with you when you say that Kagome tends to take things at face value and I’m not faulting her for not having the omniscience the audience have. I’m just pointing out the double standards that come from her bias:

She focuses so much on Inuyasha going to Kikyo that she doesn’t realize he always comes back to her when he could have just stayed with Kikyo. She complains that when Inuyasha and Kikyo get together it’s like they’re stuck on their own little world, but that’s actually her relationship with Inuyasha she’s describing. She claims she can’t compete with everything Kikyo and Inuyasha lived together, but her story with him is blatantly more substancial. She thinks that when Inuyasha and Kikyo are alone they’re probably having a romantic date, but her own interactions with Koga are more romantic (at least from his side) than anything Inuyasha and Kikyo ever did alone after her ressurection.

Kagome sees Inuyasha going to Kikyo those few times and understandably but wrongfully assumes he has romantic feelings for the fallen priestess, but thinks nothing about the unequivocally romantic things he does to and for her on the regular. She is so sure is Kikyo that he wants, but never stops to ask herself that if this is the can, then why isn’t he with her?

The weight she gives to the few moments Inuyasha and Kikyo get together is insanely out of proportion in comparison to the quality time she gets to spend with him. The fact that we understand why she comes to that conclusion and the fact that she doesn’t know she is wrong doesn’t make her any less wrong.

When you argue that “even if her conclusions are incorrect, she doesn’t have any visible evidence of that other than his word, and he’s lied about Kikyo before” it actually exposes a fundamental dillema, that is: if she doesn’t believe his words, what’s the point of verbal confirmation then, you know?

There’s nothing bad or unreasonable about wanting clear explanations and verbal confirmation in a relationship, as long as you know that learning how your partner shows love is just as important as teaching them how you want to be loved.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting romantic displays of affection as long as you know it isn’t all there is. Love is so much more than that.

Lastly, of course there’s nothing wrong with Kagome wanting Inuyasha to accommodate her emotional needs and wants. That’s why the most important thing I said in that post is that, in the end of the day, this wasn’t an issue for them anymore:

But I do believe that, in the few times he lets himself be vulnerable and speaks up, it’s because Kagome taught him that it was okay to do so and that she was a safe person to talk to. I have no doubt that he grows to be more and more open with her with every passing day, but at the same time, it’s fine if he doesn’t say a word because eventually she learns exactly what his every action mean. He shows her he loves her, she knows that he loves her, but he still tells her anyway because he knows it’s important for her to hear it and there’s absolutely nothing holding him back now.

I’m sorry if I didn’t make sense to you then. I really hope this time around I managed to be more coherent.

omg this was so thoughtful, thorough and well written!!😭 such deep and interesting thoughts about love and inukag. And really dissected the little details of the characters, their relationships and thoughts. Perfect! I loved reading this @shinidamachu !😍❤️🙆🏻‍♀️✨